Thursday, September 8, 2011

Admitting it sucks is the first step.....

Yes, you read the title of this blog correct and don’t judge me just yet.   If you’re reading this then the title resonates with you on some level you are too ashamed to admit.  I have been struggling with what to write about for quite some time and when people say “write about being a mom” all I find when looking for inspiration are people whining about not having enough time to get a manicure or how blessed they feel when they look into their baby’s eyes.  I too have no time for a manicure, but I prefer to whine about how my one year old daughter doesn’t like to eat or sleep, my inability to control her newly found tantrums in public places, and anything else that challenges my Type A personality.  And yes, I too am blessed to have her in my life, to feel complete and to be so important to her its almost frightening.  But the angels and birds don’t sing every day and the bottom line is that being a parent is a lot of hard work and something that challenges every part of you every minute of every day.  An article I recently read compared babies to very needy house guests that don’t leave.  I disagree, mainly because a house guest will not randomly pee on you.  Maybe we should consider babies to be like very complicated pets.  Oh wait, that’s not right either because most animals can walk a few minutes after being born and are fairly self-sufficient immediately.  So what can I compare it to so those without kids can understand?  Oh wait, I CAN’T!  Because there is no comparison!   I was just a normal person before and not a mother so I can confirm that parenthood is a VIP club. Once you cross over you have an understanding  that no non-parent has.  You see things you never saw before, like how many  places have high chairs but no changing stations and do things that never made sense, like take a quick assessment when entering the room of how many things your kid can choke on, fall on, or break.  You realize how much of a tool you sounded like before when you’d see crying kids and think their parents should “take control” because now you realize you are the parent and you have absolutely no control.  Your entire life changes but no one really details how.   And that’s what this is going to be all about.  Why parenthood does completely and utterly suck at times.  I’d like to offer the truth, as ugly as it may be.  So if you are still reading this and feel like you can possibly relate, here are a few scenarios which will confirm you are truly on board.  Please consider the following as something you have experienced or fear to experience in the coming months:
  1. After dealing with a screaming baby in the middle of the night, my husband tags me in.  He throws the thrashing child to me, books out of the dark room only to go full force into the doorway, knocking himself out for a moment and tumbling to the floor.  Now I’m faced with a decision:  do I deal with the out of control child in my lap or be sure my husband knows my name and that of the President?
  2. After changing my daughter in a public bathroom I too have to go.  I squeeze into the small stall and manage to do my business while making sure she doesn’t touch a thing and nothing touches her.  She is getting restless and clingy.  Do I have her play with the toilet paper roll, knowing full well that I will have to unteach this lesson when we get home, or have her sit in my lap and really take on the challenge as to how much I can do with one hand?
  3. After wrestling a one year old who refuses to get changed and is over tired, I finally manage to get her diaper off, only to have her roll onto her tummy, bare butt up in the air and promptly fall asleep on the change pad.  Do I try to get her diaper back on gingerly as not to wake her and get her somehow, with the help of God, to her crib without screaming, or quickly run and get my camera to take a picture?

If you’re tired just thinking about anything I’ve just mentioned than hooray!  I welcome you and hope to have you as a follower.  If you disagree with anything I may say feel free to comment, but be kind as I’m fragile and may cry.  But consider that I might just have something interesting to say and that the aforementioned stories (which are completely and sadly true) illustrate my point.  That being a parent is all about choices, not knowing what decision is going to be right, feeling you always should’ve done one thing when you do another, and always feeling guilty.  Toss in some other random emotions like insecurity, frustration, and anger along with a heap of fatigue and you’ve got a cocktail that doesn’t go down easy anyway you serve it.  

So go ahead, look around, be sure no one is watching and click on the “follow” button.  I won’t be offended when you minimize your screen to read this or quickly switch to Angry Birds if viewing from your phone.  Because you and I both know that after you’ve been thrown up on at 3am or sat down and cried because you’ve let your daughter cry it out too long, or had some part of your body exposed because your kid is grabbing onto everything piece of your clothing as she moves, you too consider these to be the reasons why parenthood sucks....sometimes.

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad there is you, said this exhausted mom at 2:30 a.m. I look forward to your posts!